09 - New beginning

~ Xander ~

God! What was I thinking! Kissing Spike! God. Gah. And he doesn’t want me. He just ignored me when I leaned over to him, when his face was so near to mine… GAH!

Something is seriously wrong because I can’t be turned on by Spike *if* he isn’t by me! So I admit it, I can be attracted to Spike, if he is attracted to me. He made it clear he isn’t, so I am not attracted to him. Him, another male, a male vampire and here we go again: vampire boyfriend – boyfriend vampire: please choose your favorite!

Where are we going anyway? I look out of the car window; try to get a clue to where we’re driving to. Ah, the old warehouse district by the docks. The buildings here are all abandoned and mostly in a bad shape. Some look like they could come crashing down any minute now. Of course we stop directly in front of one of the worst ones.

I swore to myself not to expect too much. Nevertheless I am a little disappointed. He clearly isn’t the prince with the *big* castle.

He kills the engine and looks intently in my eyes.

“Ready?” He asks with a slight smirk on his sensual lips.

“As ready as I will ever be.” His smirk turns into a smile and I just have to smile back. He looks so young when he loses the Big Bad shield he built for himself. Wish he could be so careless, so free every time he is only with *me*. Nope, won’t share the ‘young Spike’ with anybody.

“’K, whelp. Keep close behind me. Don’t react to anything that’s said to you or said to me about you. You can ask me everything when we are alone. Understood?”

“Yes Master!” I joke.

For a fraction of a second Spike’s eyes glaze over then he chuckles.

“What?” I stammer a little thrown by the dilated eyes. Wow.

“You’ll see.” And we are back to the smirking vampire, I like his sudden mood changes, it’ll never be boring to be with him.

He jumps out of the car and rummages in his duster pockets. Finally he produces a heavy collection of keys. The metal of them bangs together when he throws them at me, makes a too loud sound in the dark night. I catch the keys and freeze.

It’s like a disguise was around the building, now I look up to a large four storey building in good condition, lights shine through windows, a sparkling plate says: ‘Twilight’ in eerie lilac. Light music is drifting out, something with a good beat I don’t recognize.

No wonder we weren’t aware of this club if humans can’t see it.

He guides me through the door and I see two guards –demons!- running towards us. I am dead. Spike just sold me to some demons. And I am going to die. Oh god! I am so stupid. Why did I trust Spike? Swallowing hard against the bitter taste of betrayal.

“Human!” One of the big ugly things hisses and grabs my arm. Before I can blink, Spike spins around, snarls: “Mine!” and tears its head off his body.

Whoa! Possessive much?

At least this ugly demon can’t buy me anymore.

The other demon throws himself to Spikes feet, bowing down until its… erm face touches the floor.

“Clean this off!” Spike barks at the shell-shocked demon. “And spread the word: the boy is mine! Whoever touches him is dead.” His arm snakes around my waist and he leads me further down the hall to a door with an ‘Office’-sign.

It opens before we can reach it.

A man –demon!- stands in the door jab, looking at me with narrow eyes that only after a second flicker over to Spike. The man jumps towards us and Spike lets go of me. Yeah, show this bastard that attacking us is not a good idea!

I am stunned when Spike catches this demon that squeezes his long muscled legs around the vampire’s waist.

“God, baby, you came back to me!” They should get a room, looks like this demon wants to mate with Spike. Rubbing his crotch against Spike’s and drooling all over his face – slut. I see him trying to kiss Spike but my vampire turns his head away. A winning smile settles on my lips when this demon gazes at me with flashing orange eyes.

Spike sets him down and orange eyes turns around sharply and goes into the office. Spike holds his hand out and I grab it a little too hard. His smirk grows and I have the urge to smack it right out off his pretty face.

 

~ Spike ~

Isn’t he bloody marvellous? All jealous he is. So bloody cute when he gets these sparks in his eyes.

 

~ Xander ~

Spike pulls me into the office and I sit down on a big black leather recliner while he sprawls on another. This demon guy sits on the edge of the black polished desk, impertinently placing his crotch at eye level. Even if his legs are long and muscled and look pretty good in black not-too-tight leather, he doesn’t need to present himself like some “eat-all-you-can-for-free”.

“Welcome to the Twilight, kid.” He sneers and I so hate him for the ‘kid’!

I glimpse over at Spike and he also doesn’t look amused.

“Treckle, Xander. Xander, Treckle.” He introduces us, voice very flat.

“Listen, kid, this club is for every demon to come here and enjoy itself. It’s absolutely necessary that it is kept secret to humans, especially to the Slayer and the Initiative. We don’t have many problems here. Violence and fighting are no more common here than in human only clubs, but staying mainly within the realm of a lovers spat, or a drunken row.“ Pausing dramatically and leaning back on his arms, squaring his shoulders, thrusting his hips in a more comfortable position. I am fixed on the slice of skin I can see where the dark blue t-shirt rode up an inch.

 

~ Spike ~

I have to stop that. Treckle is bloody playing him. Knows he is fucking gorgeous, don’t need a reminder. Don’t want Xander to drool all over him… Aargh.

He stares at the little bit of exposed skin, watching a single abdominal muscle clench, licking his lips unconsciously… god! Can you please stop masturbating with your eyes as long as you don’t look at me? Wanker!

Treckle is now looking at me, smirking like the devil himself would, if he would think he just got my Pet hot and bothered. Well Xander is not my Pet, so I don’t care for whom he gets hard. No, don’t care. I light a cig as casual as I can with hands trembling with anger.

 

~ Xander ~

My gaze slides down to the front of Treckle’s leather pants. Is there a bulge? Oh yeah and… it’s twitching! Oh God. The bulge twitched. And there is an answering twitch in my jeans. I am getting hard while I stare at another male getting hard! Why is it so silent? Why aren’t they talking? I look up and Treck smiles at me with gleaming orange eyes, lips parted, tip of a light blue tongue showing.

Frantically I turn to Spike. Yellow eyes and gritted teeth. Uh oh.

He is glaring at Treck. My hard-on goes as fast as it came. Spike is upset cause I am flirting with another male demon.

“You through with him?” Spike spits.

“Not even begun… “ Treck retorts and leers at me. I see Spike clench his fist in an attempt to pull himself together.

“I’ll show him the apartment, we’ll come down later.” He jumps to his feet and walks out. I follow him as fast as I can. When I walk very fast through the door I hear Treckle mumble: “Spike is mine, kid!”

I break into a run.

 

10 - Home

~ Xander ~

I catch up with Spike by the end of the hall. His whole body is tense. There is a narrow stairway and he shoves me roughly to go first.

I hear someone running towards us and stop to turn around.

I fear it is Treckle, trying to do another thing to disturb Spike and my vulnerable relationship. What I see is a demon, not taller than 4 feet. It’s kinda cute with its little yellow horns all over its forehead. It throws itself on his belly on the floor to Spike’s feet. Whoa.

“Master Spike, I am so excited…” I groan. Master Spike?!

Spike chuckles and I am so happy he isn’t too angry with me about the flirting thingie.

“Go, bring up my things out of the Desoto!” My vampire demands with an authority I never heard before. This is really his world.

I am stuck between unreasonably proud and slightly threatened.

Spike ushers me up the stairs and I have to stop in front of a closed door. Again Spike reaches into his duster pocket and produces a key. He hands it to me and I unlock the door, push it open.

The first short glimpse inside and my jaw drops nearly to the floor. *gasp* Wow!

“Go in.” Spike says a little more warmly, pleased by my stunned surprise.

So I make a step forward and try to enter the apartment but an invisible barrier stops me.

I frown.

Spike goes past me into the apartment.

There is no barrier holding him.

“Turned tables. How do you like it, human?” He snarls with venom nearly choking me.

I swallow hard.

It’s like this for Spike? Seeing all the good things, wanting to enter the shiny world of another’s life but not being able to? It’s fucking degrading. Humiliating. And it makes your insides yearn for something you can never have.

 

 

~ Spike ~

Yeah whelp, not nice to be on the other side, is it?

Doesn’t feel good to see all the things you want to have this near

but can’t go grab them, does it?

He looks like he is going to cry.

I think he got my point.

“This is my safe place. Nobody is allowed to enter here without me giving an allowance to him, her or it. Whatever.”

The boy nods.

“Until now, only Treck was allowed to enter. I’ll revoke his invitation.” I whisper the few words in Glesha which are necessary for the invalidation.

“I want you to feel safe here too. This shall be your home if you want it to be. If you are interested in Treckle it can’t be yours. You have to ask him, if he’ll take you in. He’ll sure like that.” Yeah, I can picture it clearly. Treckle would fuck him into unconsciousness all the time and throw him away when he is bored with the toy boy.

Oh see, whelp is frantically shaking his head.

“I don’t want to stay with him, I want you… to stay with me, you know?” Oh what a nice blush and a Freudian slip. Gotta love this human.

I look into his eyes – wet earth drying in golden sunbeams – trying to find sincerity in them. He holds my gaze without any sign that he may be lying.

 

~ Xander ~

Spike and I locked gazes some moments ago. It’s very intense. Feels like he is searching through my soul for confirmation. I really want to stay with Spike. I was just distracted by this Treckle creature. Eventually Spike shrugs and starts to whisper again some words in a language I don’t recognize.

My body lurches forward and if Spike hadn’t anticipated my lack of reaction, I would’ve had to pick myself off the floor now. The skin tingles warmly where his hand closed around my biceps to keep me from falling. Mhmm.

Regaining my stance I get the first good look of the apartment. Wow. It’s a huge loft.

The whole left side is open and the three sections, living room, library/training room and dining room/kitchen are divided only by black wooden beams.

I take in the decorations on the left side, a big living area with two huge black leather sofas and some impressive music-equipment including the biggest TV I have ever seen.

The bookcases covering the wall and the three club chairs around a big round table are the library, while the big training section is mostly acknowledgeable by the fifteen by fifteen feet training mat dominating the space in the middle of the apartment.

The dining room has an old dark wooden table with eight chairs seated around it and the kitchen including an aisle in the middle is in the same shade of dark old looking wood.

On the right side of the loft are two big rooms with another smaller one between them.

“Your room,” Spike points to the open door nearest me. “Bathroom,” the middle door. “My room.” The door farthest from the entry. I nod stunned by the overwhelming luxury pouring out of every single detail of the loft.

“I love wide open places but I like privacy, so I asked for two separated room with walls and ceilings. You are not allowed to lock your door. I will not lock my door either. Bathroom can be locked though.” He pauses and then shoves me over to said room.

I look in the bathroom; it’s all black tiles and silver fittings. A big triangular tub in one corner, a walk-in shower, a toilet and a bidet, a wide vanity cabinet with two wash basins and a huge mirror.

“That is the only one.” Spike points to the mirror only my reflection is visible in and I know it is another rule. No more mirrors than this one in the apartment. Alright with me, don’t like to see me anyway.

“Want to see your room?” I nod excited and feel dumb for it. I am so fucking needy.

 

~ Spike ~

Boy’s lookin’ like Santa surprised him in the middle of the year with presents. Got this overwhelmed teary expression on his face and I don’t think he can take more generosity at this moment. Try to be as casual as I can be about this apartment, don’t want him to feel obliged to repay it in any way. Know the boy has potential and I am really curious as to what he can grow into if he got enough support to risk development.

I push open the door to his room. And he gasps and I have to agree with him the lack of furniture is disturbing and hostile. I have to have a ‘talk’ with Treckle. *grumble*

 

~ Xander ~

Spike shoves open the door and I just have to gasp! Wow, this is the biggest, lightest and cleanest space I ever had to myself! The big four poster bed with the mahogany frame, a mahogany desk with a dark green armchair and a big mahogany wardrobe are the only furniture in the room – my room. I am so thankful that the room is not decorated completely. I can get things for myself, arrange it how I want it to be, like I need it to be to fit with me. Grinning I turn to Spike to thank him.

I see Spike’s jaw clench. Oh. Looks like he does not agree with the room.

“I am sorry. I thought Treckle would take more care of the decoration to make it at least a little bit comfortable.” He looks at me apologetic. Huh?

“Erm, … Spike, this is alright, it’s very much more I ever dreamed of, … honestly this is the best I ever got to myself…”

 

~ Spike ~

He looks down ashamed and I have to suppress a growl. Who allows some people to have kids? I have to fight against the overwhelming urge to go back to his parents’ house NOW and tear them apart. Both. Mom and Dad. She could have at least shown him, she loved him if she wasn’t able to protect him.

“We’ll have to go down again before the busiest hours begin; I’ll show you the club, the bar. You’ll get some introductions to people and rules. You can start bartending tomorrow, you’ll be able to buy whatever you like for your room soon.”

 

~ Xander ~

Bar? Bartending? That’s what I am doing here? No ‘not the nice kind’ job for me? Just plain bartending? Oh god, I am so relieved! I could hug and kiss Spike. Repeatedly.

“Bartending?” I squeak joyfully.

“Yeah, pet, something wrong with that?” Smirking bastard!

“No! Nothing! Alright! Me bartending! Bartending good! Of the very good!”

 

~ Spike ~

Gotta love this innocence. This ability to be enthusiastic about the littlest things.

“Thought so, mate. Come on then.”

Going by instinct I grab his hand and drag the bouncing youth with me.

Could get used to this.

 

11 - Rules

//Xander's thoughts or memories//

~ Xander ~

I am holding another man’s hand. I am holding a male vampire’s hand. *swallow*

However graceful and cool it may be when Spike comes down the stairs, I definitely destroy that look with the happy bouncing behind him.

Look cool vampire in black leather duster / head of a young brunette poking over his shoulder / cool vampire in black leather duster / head of a young brunette grinning madly poking over his shoulder / …

I can’t help it. And Spike must be pretty used to a mad person being around him. After all he was with Drusilla for nearly a century. That girl was nuts.

Oh and here we go again: “Office”.

 

~ Spike ~

I feel Xander tense when we enter the office again. At least he is not looking forward to seeing Treckle again. Or it’s just that he is embarrassed by his reaction to the demon and has to deal with the issues of his sexuality first. Nevertheless he knows what he loses if he gets involved with him. Question is, will the apartment be enough for him to not want to lose it.

Letting go of Xander’s hand, I push him down on one of the chairs. Treckle stands in front of one window and stares into the night. He makes no move or noise to acknowledge us. Again I have to adore the beauty he has. The black leather pants are tight against the firm round buttocks, the waist small and just inviting to grab it hard. His shoulders are broad for his size, extremely when he crosses his arms in front of his chest like right know.

I block my mind against a whirlwind of memories which try to assault me and break the silence: “You alright, luv?” I bite my lip hard, angry at myself that the familiar endearment escaped my mouth. As I nearly expected Treckle turns around with a blinding smile: “Yeah *baby* I was waiting for you… both.” He got me. Fine.

 

~ Xander ~

If this isn’t unresolved sexual energy… gotta go gotta go gotta …

“So, kid” Treckle drawls overly friendly and sits down behind his desk. Thank god!

“Let me get this out in one long speech. You can ask me later *all* you want to know. ‘K?” His eyes are gleaming orange and he flashes them for my benefit. Really impressive this trick. Cool. I nod to his question.

“As I said the bar is not much different from a human bar. The customers are demons mostly.” D’uh! “They come to us to have a decent drink or to enjoy their time. Human patrons are not allowed into the main dance area. However there are human employees. We don’t like problems so we’ve got very good security. We have our own patrol out in this part of the city to keep the slayer and the Initiative away.”

It obviously worked.

“We’re open from sunset to dawn everyday except Monday. You will tend on the Big Bar until you know all the drinks and specials. Rasplar, a W’kara demon and Maerg, a Gulsh will introduce you to everything necessary. You’ll have to learn some words in different demon languages to communicate with the guests probably on your own.”

Can’t do that. //You’re dumb! Dumb like shit!//

“When you are good enough, you can take shifts on the second bar alone, if you prove yourself capable you can get the bar to yourself.”

Never be able to achieve the abilities needed for that. //You can’t do anything on your own! You can’t even piss without help!//

“Spike and I agreed to give you free meals, free rent in exchange for your work, you can keep all the tips though. Our customers are very generous when they are content with the service.”

//You can’t do anything right, can you?//

“You - like all the other staff members will have a direct link to the security by magic. If you feel uncomfortable or are threatened you call, the security will make the guest leave. The guests know that and they mostly choose to respect that.”

//Why should I respect your privacy? All you are, all you have, I gave to you! You don’t deserve respect!//

“You have to be very careful with the drinks. Keep the ingredients schedule, don’t mix by yourself or change even the slightest thing because something is missing. If you are not sure do not tamper with the recipe If you are not sure about an ingredient, or can’t find it. Ask Rasplar or Maerg!”

//Stop asking these dumb questions! Can’t you see I am watching TV? Why would you need to know how to tie shoes? You’ve got Velcro!//

“What is delicious to one can be deadly to another. If you are interested in a guest for more than business relations, you have to talk to me or Spike first before you take any step in *that* direction. There are really cute demons out there and the vamps aren’t that bad but some of them can hurt you without wanting to. There is for example the Haricca demon whose semen is toxic to humans.”

Huh? Toxic semen? One swallow and good bye Xand-man. Whoa. Good to know. Gah! What? Did I really think about swallowing demon seed? Not Spike seed – demon seed of a demon I don’t even know?! I wouldn’t do that to a demon I don’t know? Right. Would never do that to a demon. Nope.

“Anything I have forgotten? Hmm. Ah! Never more than two different colours on you. And try to think about less… blinding colours.” Spike starts to chuckle and Treckle joins in. This must be delicious for him, for Spike, for both of them. *grrr*

 

~ Spike ~

Didn’t know, Xander could growl.

“Come on pet, let’s have a look at the club, huh?”

And there is it again the beautiful light in my boy’s eyes. The sparkles he gets in the chocolate orbs when he is excited about something remind me of the golden flakes dancing in my sire's eyes just before he entered me, filled me. Fuck, how do you hide a bloody hard-on *that* size without a duster? Think about something, something bad! A bloody Xander. Hm, lick it all off him… So does not help! The slayer bitch. That bint hurting my Xanpet! Oh… this is working a bit too good. Huh. Embarrassing.

 

~ Xander ~

Showmetheclub…showmetheclub…showmetheclub…

Without another look back at Treckle we both leave the office and Spike guides me through a big double door into… total darkness.

Stumble… ahrg… oops… erm… “Spike?”

“Right here, pet. Forgot for a moment you don’t have the superior senses add-on.” Smirk. And I could see that. Adjusting to the darkness now and I can see. A huge club, dance floor surrounded by a big black bar that in turn surrounds a spiral staircase. An outer ring is created by places where small groups can sit and talk. In one corner is a small stage, not too big for a single act but big enough to accommodate a band without too much dancing performance.

“Oz would love this.” I say awed.

“Actually he does love it.” Smirk. Challenging gaze.

“Oz was here? The Dingoes played here?”

“Not the Dingoes, only Oz and a very stoned Devon. They made quite a show…”

 

~ Spike ~

Oh yeah, I still think about the redhead. How he had to concentrate on just *holding* his guitar while Dev rubbed himself against his ass, singing slurping lyrics just loud enough for the audience into the wolf’s ear like a lover would whisper: Fuck me baby, just a little harder…

*groan* ... oops have to pay attention to nummy ...

“… and he is still alive? If Willow knew that he was in this club, he would be dead!”

“Oz belongs here, pet. He is a shadow just like me. Willow doesn’t and he knows that.”

And I don’t think Red would have appreciated

another man making *her* boyfriend come in his pants

just by biting his neck *hard* in front of the whole club.

*moan* ... Think about the slayer… the slayer hurting Xander…

 

~ Xander ~

Spike looks kinda spaced out tonight. *wonder*

I hope Oz will play here again. I would really like to see him again sometime. He said a lot without saying anything at all and isn’t that frightening?!

We go over to the bar now and there are two… obviously demons waiting for us. They pause for some moments with whatever they do and give me the once over. Urgh.

//Mom touching my newly cut hair. “You’re a pretty boy…” “You think *he* is pretty?” laughinglaughinglaughing “Shit is prettier than him! The fucking neighbours’ dog’s ass is prettier than *that*!”//

I smile shyly at both and I think the toothy thing and the lip curling they do ...might have been them smiling back.

 

12 - Anticipation

~ Spike ~

Silly kid’s nervous ‘cause of these two demons he would kill without hesitating if he would meet them in a cemetery. *snort* I order a pint of O pos and watch Maerg and Raspla overwhelm him with all sorts of alcohol and ingredients. My nummy has his eyes open wide, looking frantically from one barkeeper to the other, nodding at the rapidly changing things they show him. I have no idea how fast he will get into all this. Hope he’ll find his place here. He hadn’t one outside with the slayer, that’s for sure.

 

~ Xander ~

Godgodgod… yes, Vodka, I know, Gertroff or whatever no, but nodding okay at first, can ask later, Spike is watching and, JD under there, right, lemons in there, ice cubes not mixy with that green slimy stuff, okay, Spike watching!, making me NERVOUS!, can’t think straight! Is this how you feel when you’re parents love you and they want to see the school play – no, they already love you, you don’t have to prove your worth to them anymore, right? Nope, I don’t have an idea what that red glowing liquid is, that Maerg holds in his 5th Hand but I nod and I understand it explodes, when you put cola into it. Right. I can do this! IF SPIKE JUST WOULD STOP STARING! GAH!

 

~ Spike ~

Looks like he himself will explode in a minute or so. Think I will rescue him.

A look to the clock above the bar: 3:12 a.m. Time to get the human into bed. He has a long day tomorrow. And I could visit Treckle before sun up…

“Right then, Maerg, Raspla thanks so far. I’ll bring him down tomorrow night at 9.”

I grab a red faced Xander and drag him with me to the exit. I know his eyes have adjusted to the darkness but it’s good to feel some warm flesh against my skin.

In my time with the scoobies I missed the physical contact most. No one touched me. No handshake, no high-five, no handholding, no anything. Existing without the proof of being physically there – it would kill me. Don’t know how a Ghost can exist that long. I would just die without the caress of another individual. When Dru… My Dru…

“Earth to Spike! Hello Blondie!”

“Wot?” I bark and realize we are standing in front of the narrow stairway and I have to let go of the whelp so we can climb up. Alright.

 

~ Xander ~

When we are in the apartment, Spike says something about food in the kitchen and yes, I discover a frozen pizza there. We take turns showering while the pizza heats up and I have to gulp down the moans I nearly made when Spike comes out of the bathroom only in black jeans, top button open. GAH!

I sit on one of the barstools, so I can keep an eye on the pizza, only I am really keeping an eye on Spikes back. Following the trail of water droplets as they follow the line of his muscles, from his hairline to the waistband of his jeans. He leans up against the counter, waiting on his blood to heat. When Spike leans over to check the cup in the microwave I nearly moan. He has to be wiggling like that on purpose!

 

~ Spike ~

If these aren’t endorphins in the air, flooding the apartment…

A little hip roll while I look at the pizza and decide it does not need more time and I could detect a hitch in his breath and a little skip in the heart frequency.

Who is the big bad master of seduction, heh?

I hand him the plate with the pizza, smirking. And he looks at me with a mix of amusement and tortured hopelessness.

I take my mug of blood out of the microwave and Nummy stares at it, when I sit down.

“Where do you get human?” He asks firm but without accusation.

I swallow hard. How does he know it’s human?

 

~ Xander ~

Erm, how do I know it’s human?

“We kind of produce it, pet.” Spike finally says and I would have laughed because of the look on his face if we weren’t talking about human blood.

“Produce it?? As in we kidnap people and milk them??”

“How would that be possible without the slayer knowing about it?” And Spike laughs out loud at the ridiculous picture. “It’s not like we have a factory where the people are bound to an assembly line and robots connect hoses to their veins and take their blood!”

“So what, they come deliberately?”

Suddenly Spike gets serious again. “Yes, they come of their own free will and they give us one or two pints every month. It’s like the Red Cross, we just pay better. So, they are not harmed, they get money, we have a fresh supply and don’t have to go out hunting. No hunting – no problems with Slutty.”

“We?”

“Some bouncers are vamps and a lot of our guests too. We sell it to them.”

“That’s a great solution.”

“Don’t patronize yourself, Harris. The vamps buy only a snack here or there, like vodka with a little A plus. They don’t stop eating people.”

“Right, but that’s Slutty’s prob then.” And did I really just say Slutty instead Buffy? The way Spike smirks I must have.

“Erm, how much do you pay them?” Keep the innocent face.

“20 $ for the pint. free entry and drinks.”

“Couldn’t I…” do that too?

“NO!” Whoa. That was loud.

“But 20 $...”

“I said NO.” Spike growls dangerously.

I pout. I need money and I could…

“I’ll give you 100 $ every month if you never think about that.” 100 $?

I grin at Spike.

“Deal.”

Spike smiles.

“So, wanna see my room?”

“Yeah.” I smile and Spike smiles back.

God, he is so cute when he smiles the real smiles. We go to the room. He opens the door and walks in. I stand in the doorway and feel silly. I'm nervous like a schoolgirl on her first date. Why?

He just wants to show me his room. I feel myself blushing. God, this is so embarrassing. Now he is smirking again.

“I just asked you to come into my bedROOM, not into my bed, Harris.” He laughs and I feel stupid. I am a little disappointed, hurt by his words. Why by any means would *he* want me, the zeppo, the donut boy, in his bed?

 

~ Spike ~

And there he goes again. Jumping right into the self doubts.

“Yet.”

“Huh?” Confused is a look I like on his face, it’s near the losing-control expression…

 

~ Xander ~

In one long step he is in front of me, invades my personal space, one cool hand cups my cheek and makes me look into his face. I peer through my long hair into his blue eyes. They are darker than usual. A deep rich blue. His lips are less than two inches from mine and I feel his breath ghost over my mouth when he speaks:

“I said, I only asked you to come into my bedroom now,” He licks his lips and I have to gather all my will together not to catch that pink wet tip between my teeth. “not to come into my bed yet.” My stomach makes little flip-flops when he sways a little nearer to me, his gaze flickers from eyes to lips, from lips to eyes …

“But when I think about it…” he whispers and I close my eyes against the spinning room.

“now is good too.” I can feel the coolness of his skin against my mouth, so close are his lips to mine. I am unable to think about anything other than: kissmekissmekissme.

Any moment now I’ll feel his lips on mine. His mouth devouring mine. God yes!

 

13 - Scents I

~ Spike ~

There is a loud knock on the door and the whelp jumps away from me! Argh! Grrr. I am instantly dressed up and as fast as I can at the door, ripping it open with such force, the hinges squeal. “Wot?” I bark, angry that I didn’t get my kiss. The two Liplarsh demons tremble in fear and are holding our stuff in front of them like a shield.

“M-m-master Treckle sent us to b-b-bring your luggage, Master Sp-spike. We d-d-didn’t meant to b-bother you.” I clench my fist to calm myself down. Wouldn’t do me good to tear the service staff apart, would it?

“Alright. Just leave it outside.” Hope the whelp sees, how serious I am with the barrier.

I look at him, still standing in the door jamb to my bedroom, a light smile on the face and ‘confusion’ in block letters written on his forehead. That’s how I … what the hell?

“Xander… “I call but it’s too late, he already turned to look in the room. Bloody hell.

 

~ Xander ~

When I am sure Spike will not kill the room service, I turn around to take a look in Spike’s room.

---

---

T-the bed has an iron frame instead of wood, vampire friendly and the black sheets are decorated with blood red rose petals.

There is a desk on which an impressive rose bouquet sits.

A bottle of very expensive wine and imported chocolate are waiting on the bedside table.

Candles in elegantly formed iron holders are positioned on every surface.

I wonder quickly if the books in the bookcase were selected by Spike or if they are leftovers from the former owner of the apartment.

The room looks as if it’s decorated for a romantic event for two. And I know for sure I am not one of the participants.

Suddenly I feel Spike behind me.

He takes in the preparations of his room and sighs exaggeratedly.

“We have to talk.” He says and I shake my head. I don’t want to know.

“Xander…” A tickling on the base of my spine when he says my name like that.

“No Spike. You’ve got a life, erm, unlife here and it’s okay. I thank you for everything you do for me; I won’t bother you if you let me stay. I don’t want to go but if my presence interferes with your unlife I will be gone. Just say the word. The good-bye words I mean. You and Treck… you fit together very nicely from what I could see and he cares about you… a lot.” Vague gesture with my hand around the bedroom in general. I know I am babbling but I can’t stop. I am so disappointed but I can’t get a grip why exactly. Okay, I thought I was something special, that Spike cared about *me*. And now I feel like the fifth wheel. Expendable Xander that’s me.

 

~ Spike ~

Up and down and up and down. His self worth must get sick. It’s trapped in a bleeding rollercoaster. It changes faster than bloody Angelus’ mood!

“If you don’t want me here, I’ll go…. No problemo. I have a few dollars saved, I can make it. I don’t want to embarrass you with me being human *and* always in the way. … Okay, I’ll get my stuff. It’s still outside, hm? Don’t worry about me… “Coughing that sounds more like a sob. “Don’t worry about me telling anybody about the club or where you are. The secret is safe with me… “

 

~ Xander ~

I turn around to look into Spike’s face because he hasn’t reacted to my speech. He has his arms crossed in front of his chest; blue eyes look at me expectantly. I frown. I am not sure what he is waiting for.

“What?” I want to yell annoyed but all I can manage is a hoarse whisper.

“You through?” He asks me coldly.

I nod.

“Good, because we need to talk.” I roll my eyes.

“Didn’t you hear anything I just said?”

“I heard every word.”

“So we can move to the part with the good-byes now, yes?”

“No.”

“But…”

“No. We will sit down now and discuss a few things like normal grown ups.” We roll our eyes in unison. A vampire and a youth – normal grown ups. Yeah.

His voice is low and commanding now.

“I am not your fucking parents who either ignore or hit you and I am not your bloody righteous scoobies who either ignore you or use you. Try to get that into your head!” His eyes are full of golden stars, they are burning into mine. He is beautiful when he is not whining about the damn chip or pig’s blood, when he is in control and determined to get his will. I feel the dreamy smile crawling up my face.

 

~ Spike ~

And up again.

“You silly git!” I snort and poke him in the shoulder. “Now come, sit down with me!”

We go into the kitchen, where I heat another bag blood. I have to get back to my old strength. For Harris I have a little surprise. I grab a container of chocolate chip ice cream and shove it into his hands.

“Oh Spike! You *really* care!” He grabs a spoon and starts to … *devour* it, would be a good word for what he does with the … urgh. Why did I give him a … that’s a long tongue he has, wonder how… *moan* the spoon – all the way into his mouth – lips firmly shaping the ice cream before entering the warm wet cave…

“Do you have a favourite?” Huh? Me? Ice?

 

~ Xander ~

Ice is good. Soooo goood. All cool and melting on my tongue. The microwave dings and Spike takes out his blood but doesn’t drink it, instead stares at me…

I can smell the blood; it’s another blood type than the one a while ago. I wonder if he prefers one?

“Do you have a favourite?” Pulling the spoon out of my mouth with a wet plop.

“Not so into ice.”

“Ice?”

“Yeah, favourite ice cream?” Raised eyebrow.

“Na, asked you about your favourite blood! It’s not the same type as before, still human though and I wondered…” I trail off when Spike stares at me open mouthed.

“You smell the different blood types?”

“Erm yes.”

“Why?”

“Erm… no idea?”

“Did this ever occur before?”

“Not so often around people who heat blood and have it for dinner.”

“So you’re often around people who only heat blood then?” Spikesmirk.

“Fuck no.” Hurt look. “You know what I mean!” I grin as goofily as I can. “So what about your favourite now?”

“Before was AB pos, now is O pos. I prefer the neg’s. They’re rare, only about 15 per cent of the people have it.”

“I am B neg.”

“I know.” Dark blue eyes looking at me, penetrating my being, cut me to the core of my soul. I shudder involuntarily.

When he raises the mug to his lips I see him struggling to keep the human front.

“Let go, it doesn’t bother me.” Oh, sheepish Spike. Didn’t know he could do sheepish. I already admitted he is cute, didn’t I? Relief follows and after the first careful sip his eyes are golden blissful pools, glowing like two suns.

I smile at him and take another spoonful of chocolate ice into my mouth. “Hmmm.” I moan, enjoying the sugar overloading my taste buds.

 

~ Spike ~

“Yeah, hmmm.” I moan with him, holding his gaze. I wish I could taste him again. I would be content with just a short lick of his lips, one thrust of my tongue into his mouth, one short nip of his neck, one delicious droplet of his blood, one suck on his hard cock, dipping my tongue into the tiny slit, feeling the sticky pre-cum on my lips… oh fuck it, I want it all. Bloody hell. No.

No. No. No. No.

“So you wanted to talk?” He asks and looks up at me through lowered lashes. Lowered lashes in a not seductive way. Lowered lashes ‘cause he is so tired he can’t hold open his puppy dog eyes any longer.

“We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sure.” He yawns and I am impressed how wide he can open his mouth. Definitely something we can work with. Hmmm…

His head comes down to lie on his crossed arms on the table. The brown curls fall forward, hiding his face.

“Hey! Don’t fall asleep here!” I nudge his elbow a little roughly and he is on his feet, eyes wide, in less than a second. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Shh, it’s okay. You nearly fell asleep. I just woke you so you can go sleep in your bed. It’s more comfortable anyway.” I try to sound calm and not to let on how angry these little relapses make me. When I get his bloody father in my hands…

Xanpet nods wobbly and disappears with a weak “G’night.” into his room. He leaves the door open and I wonder if he did it on purpose or if he is just too tired to care.

 

14 - Scents II

~ Xander ~

As soon as I am not near Spike, my sleepiness leaves my body for a feeling of utter frustration. Undressing down to my briefs quickly I crawl under the fresh sheets. Dark green satin envelops me, soothing my skin, chilling my flesh. It’s a bed made for two persons and I feel alone. I am restless. I can’t sleep. My body feels so heavy and my muscles are tired but my mind cannot calm down. Bits and pieces of the last hasty days flit through my mind, making me even more frustrated. Forcing myself to lay still, I concentrate on my breathing like I do when I want to go to my safe place.

Only after a few minutes I catch myself not concentrating on my breathing at all. Instead I am listening to the unfamiliar sounds of the apartment. I wonder why I can’t hear any noise from the club at all and make a note to ask Spike about that.

Spike. Hm. Wish he would snore or something, anything that would tell me that he is there, just a few feet away from me. I turn to lie on my other side and close my eyes again. Open them, close them, open them, close them. Years ago I read about this trick. After a while the eyelids are so strained and heavy, they just won’t open anymore and one should fall asleep after that immediately.

Open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, *sneeze* WIDE OPEN!

Huh? *sneezesneesneeze* I sit up straight on the bed.

“Spike?”

“Ye*sneeze* bloody *snee*…ell!”

Sneezing Spike?

Sneezing vampire?

SNEEZING VAMPIRE!

“SPIKE?” My heart starts hammering against my ribs. There is no way, Spike is sneezing. And if he is really sneezing, something is seriously wrong.

 

 

~ Spike ~

This is *sneeze* ridiculous and the whelp starts *snee* panicking. I am just *sneesneesneezzze* sneezing. Bloody fucking hell. What is this? *sniffle*

I scent the sheets. *sneezesneeze*

I just have to laugh.

 

~ Xander ~

Oh fuck. He is mad or someone, something did a spell on him.

He starts laughing madly, the occasional sneezing and cursing interrupting. I can nearly see the tears of laughter run down his face, so hard is he laughing.

“SPIKE!? WHAT IS WRONG?” Nope, not panicking at all. Everything is pretty normal – just not the damn vampire in the other room sneezing and laughing himself to death!

 

 

~ Spike ~

Think I just *sneezelaughterlaughtersneezebloodylaughterlaughtersneezehell* tell him before he gets a seizure or something. Whelp’s caring so much.

“The bloody idiot *sneezelaughter* put rose scented perfume on all the *sneezelaughterlaughter* bleedin’ sheets!” *laughter*

 

~ Xander ~

That’s it? No world ending now? Just damn rose scented perfume? Doesn’t he know that… And that’s when I realize why Spike is laughing so hard. And I just have to join in.

“You’re a vampire, he should know you can smell much better…”

“Yeah, but *sneesnee…* I didn’t do this in over a century!” *sneezzzee*

I can clearly picture the expression on Spike’s face when he felt the first tickling in his nose and suddenly sneezed. Something akin to disbelief, denial, confusion and incredibility. It’s making me just laugh harder.

 

~ Spike ~

He is bloody laughing at me! *pout*

“Stop that *sneeze* now whelp!” Oh yes very convincing.

“This is making me pretty nauseous. It’s*sneeze* not funny.”

 

~ Xander ~

Oh, poor pouting Spikeybaby… *laughing*

“Come over, bed’s big enough for two.”

Did I really say that?

Oh. My. God.

Silence.

 

~ Spike ~

Did I really hear that?

Did he offer me his bed *with* him in it?

Silence.

Hm.

“You wouldn’t mind?”

*swallow*

Silence.

 

~ Xander ~

“Nope, shared before, didn’t we?”

Fucking fast mouth of mine.

Pics of me and Spike cuddling flooding me.

The feel of his body against mine.

Silence.

Then: sheets shifting, a dresser opening, closing, more sheets shifting.

Oh fuck, Spike just put on underwear.

He was naked!

Naked Spike in black satin sheets!

NAKED SPIKE on black satin sheets.

Image overload.

Please restart your brain.

GAH! Not *that* brain!

*swallow*

Mantiswoman. Larry. Mummygirl. Mummygirl. Mantiswoman. Doesntworkdoesntwork…

Footsteps towards my room.

Dad beating the shit out of me. Dad beating the shit of me and jerking off.

I am the master of self control. That’s me, Xand-man!

It’s very dark, but I can see Spike’s pale body in the door jamb. He is only wearing dark boxer shorts, stands there unconsciously shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“You sure?” he asks me. Nodding I hold the sheets up for him to slide under them.

 

~ Spike ~

Whelp’s got a pair. No hint of fear or insecurity. Just a welcoming smile and a gesture that says more than words. So I just follow and get into the bed next to him.

We both lie on our backs, pretending to fall asleep but studying the ceiling instead. The silence is awkward.

 

~ Xander ~

Spike. In. My. Bed. Again.

I may be human but I can see his eyes are open and he is as uncomfortable as I am even without the superior eyesight.

I sigh.

Spike sighs.

Neither of us says anything for long minutes.

And I just can’t take it anymore.

“Damn it! Come here.” I open my arms and less than a second later, a hard cool vampire is pressed against me, his head pillowed on my shoulder.

 

~ Spike ~

I win. I tell the warning voice in my head. I am where I want to be without even bloody lying or manipulating it. ‘M good. Warmth. Xanpet. Safe.

“Better?” He asks and shifts a little, his chin resting against my forehead.

“Hmhm.” No purring. Don’t purr. I am the Big Bad. Big Bad does NOT purr.

 

~ Xander ~

His skin feels good against mine. Chest and legs. Chin and hands. All pressed against Spike. Good. Peace. Safe.

Moving a little I press my lips against his forehead. Giving him an all innocent good night kiss, when I remember something.

“Can I ask you something?”

 

~ Spike ~

I feel his lips press against my skin above the eyebrows. Leaning into the touch, I wish I could demand more, have my way with him. Now. The warning voice in my head yells at me not to rush things. My nether regions demand to rush things. Would be easier, if they would agree on something.

When he whispers the question, his warm full lips don’t leave my skin, they brush against my forehead, the breath washing over my skin like the warmest summer breeze you can imagine.

“J’st ask.”

“Which one is the primary one?” More summer wind, more velvet mouth nuzzling me.

“The other.” I say before I am even able to think about possible consequences.

 

~ Xander ~

Xand-man the Vamp-X-pert.

“I knew that.” Gently parting my lips, scraping my lower lip along his brow. “Is this one uncomfortable or something? Like a mask?” Taking his brow between my lips, tugging it softly.

What am I doing?

 

~ Spike ~

What is the whelp doing? I breathe in deeply, trying to get the whole spectrum of his scents to learn what exactly he feels right now. Comfort. Safety. No fear. Arousal - but not the jump-my-bones kind, more the teasing-I-am-interested-in-you kind.

Good thing, he can’t do the smelling thing. I don’t know how he would react to the barely-restraining-from-jumping-your-bones-right-now-again-and-again-until-you-do-not-know-your-own-name-anymore smell. He definitely can’t smell me. Would be running by now. And what was the question again? Ah.

“No, not a mask. Dru said it’s like wearing make up, you need some effort to put it on, then you nearly forget it but you always know it’s there somewhere in your mind so you don’t wipe it off accidentally.

 

~ Xander ~

“So you can’t get totally comfortable without it?”

Sigh. “No. It’s like the tiniest itch in the back of my mind, keeping me aware of what I present to the outside.”

Hm. “You can change, it doesn’t bother me. You know…”

“Xan, I…”

“It’s okay. Your choice. No prob.” Pressing my lips a little harder to his forehead. “Just wanted you to know. Night Spike.” A last caress. Deep breath. Smoke, sex, leather, sex, hair gel, sex, blood, sex. Spike scent. And the slightest hint of roses.

Smiling, I drift into sleep.

 

~ Spike ~

Bloody tease!

My tease.

Nuzzling closer to the warm neck I follow nummy into the land of dreams.

 

15 - Bed & Breakfast I

 

~ Xander ~

It must be midday. When I move, Spike whimpers. Not the good whimper, more the don’t-leave-me-whimper. To be alone must hurt really hard after a century with Dru. Even insane, she was always there for him, giving him something to do, something so he could feel needed, feel loved, worthy of existence.

Yeah, Xander. Way to go with the philosophy of the evil undead.

I turn around as fast as the strong arms holding me allow.

And again I am face to face with the demon. Not afraid. Not even surprised. I wonder why I totally lost my fear of the wilder aspects of this man. Vampire.

My arms are stuck between our chests. And I so want to touch his features. I want to explore them, find out how they feel.

In my time as a scoobie, we dusted so many vamps, but none of us ever got the chance of touching them. Well, none of us wanted to touch a vamp. Buffy though. Would Angel let her touch the vampiric face? Did she want too? Don’t think so. They were both too busy pretending they were just the normal teenage couple. Yeah, how that worked out.

So, staring at the distorted – no, not distorted. They are just different from the normal human face. Hah! Demon here. I still stare on the demon face. Still want to touch it, but can’t ‘cause my hands are trapped. My mouth is not trapped, I could easily reach the forehead. Well, why not? Spike didn’t mind me kissing him good night yesterday, so…

 

~ Spike ~

Wanna sleep. Stop moving. ‘m tired. Don’t go. Wanna sleep. Stop movin’. Why are ya starin’ ‘t me. More sleep. Now. Oh, lips. Warm. Hmmm. More lips. More warmth. So good. Feels so good.

 

~ Xander ~

My lips. Spike’s forehead. My lips on Spike’s forehead. Easy.

The softness I remember from the good night kiss is gone, the skin is like leather now, still smooth but harder, more resistant. I drag my mouth along the ridges, putting more pressure in it so the caress gets through the harder skin. It just invites you to play rough. The bumps are formed out of bones with only a thin layer of skin over them. Not unlike the collarbone or the bones under the eyebrows.

Spike leans into the touch, presses against my mouth. It gives me the belly flopping. Some moments ago I thought he would start to … well purr would be the right expression, but I don’t think he can do it. Not like a cat at least. If a vampire could purr, it would be somewhere in the books or Buffy would have told us about it. She would’ve never been able to hold back such a “cute” detail about “her” Angel. It must have been just a deep, long drawn out moan.

My lips continue to explore his bumpy forehead and I can’t stop my tongue from darting out. I lick along the sharp contours, at first just with the tip of my tongue, shyly.

 

~ Spike ~

Warm, wet silk, sliding over my flesh. Hm. Feels good. Where did he get silk? I open my eyes and draw in a lungful of Xandersmell. I can see his throat, his muscles working. God, he is licking me. He is overstepping boundaries. Only mates and sires are allowed to do that, but fuck… this feels so good. My fists are buried in the satin sheets. The fabric crumbles under the pressure. I want to touch him so badly… Don’t want to scare him, but I have to touch him. My hand rises to his hair, fingers tangle into soft, dark locks. A rougher caress of his tongue, his whole tongue. Gripping harder, straining the hair when he gets bolder, when cat licks change to greedy strokes of that hot thick piece of muscle. A light shove of his hands, fingers like claws scratching over my pecs. I moan, I can’t help it.

 

~ Xander ~

God, his skin is so cool, so smooth. I love to feel it. He is awake now, his hand in my hair, gripping it just right. Not too hard but firmly. He moans and I have to do something before this gets out of hand. What am I doing? Why am I doing this? This is Spike, a male vampire! But gods, he feels good. Scratching over his chest with my fingers, pawing like a cat.

“Feels good?” I whisper and my breath dries the wet trails my tongue painted.

“Good, so good…” He moans hoarsely.

My lips find the scar and I suck on it, enticing a whimper from Spike. The skin here isn’t as leathery as elsewhere. I capture the scarred skin between my teeth, lightly nipping on it. Spike shudders. God, he is so sensitive.

*dreeeppdreeepp dreeeppdreeepp*

 

~ Spike ~

Oh no. The fucking phone. Not now. Fuck. No.

“What is that sound?”

“Phone.”

Silence.

*dreeeppdreeepp dreeeppdreeepp*

“Go, answer it. That sound is fucking annoying.”

“No.”

Silence. Nummy is shifting away.

“Don’t wanna go. Comfy.” My patented pout. No one can resist that…

*dreeeppdreeepp dreeeppdreeepp*

*dreeeppdreeepp dreeeppdreeepp*

“GO and KILL it, it’s already dying the way it sounds!”

I have to laugh at his last comment. I look at him.

He is gorgeous like this, spread out on the bed, sure of himself, the hair tousled, eyes glittering with energy. He smiles at me and I forget why I was laughing at all.

*dreeeppdreeepp dreeeppdreeepp*

*dreeeppdreeepp dreeeppdreeepp*

Ah yes, bloody phone. I walk over into my room, planning my revenge on the caller. How dare he interrupt me snogging with the boy! Hm. I could scream in the receiver as loud as I can… wonder if my chip would react, if I do some long distance ear shattering…

“Grr.”

“Oh, Spike, love. I didn’t wake you, did I?” Treck’s honey dripping voice sounds not even half as good on the phone than in real life.

“Grrrrwhatchawant?” And make it short, want to go back to bed to the warm human.

“Gah, baby, love it when you are so – hmm – beast-y. Do you remember the…”

“Yes. Remember. Vamp. remember? Good memory. Treckle, you wanted what?”

“The things you ordered for the boy are here. Shall I bring them up or do you need help with the kid?” Voice cold now.

“I can do that by myself, thank you.” I press the ‘end call’ button before he gets a change to say anything further. I really have to talk to him.

 

~ Xander ~

There is Treckle on the phone. I can’t make sense out of their ‘relationship’. Sometimes it looks like they’re gonna fuck each other silly then and there and other times they could kill each other with looks alone.

Oh, hey Vampire flying forwards my bed. Oumph.

“Spike!” I laugh out loud because of the sheepish expression on his face.

“Mmh. Nummy.” He mumbles while he digs his head deep between my shoulder and my chin. I am shocked by the natural way my hand comes up to cup his head and my leg lifts to let his rest between mine.

Not long after sleep captures me and pulls me into protected unconsciousness.

 

I wake up to the sensation of someone sucking gently on my neck. Spike is spooned behind me, his arms embracing me. Something hard presses in the cleft of my ass and yes, that must be Spike’s cock, fully erect, nearly leaking. Gah.

I can smell blood and again I am confused, why I can separate this smell so sharply from all others around. And why can I tell precisely that it is my blood and that it is not much?

My body is humming happily. Lazy sensations crawling in slow waves away from the throbbing on my neck through my whole body down to my steel-hard dick. Gah.

Spike didn’t bite me, there is no pain, not the feeling of being intruded by something long and hard… Gah. Spike rocks against me, purrs contently. Hah! Purring. They do it!

I think Spike just grazed the skin with the fangs, accidentally breaking the skin. My god, they must be sharp. I feel his tongue licking on my skin, massaging it to get more of my blood out of the tiny wound. He is so desperate, wish I could take this chip out. Huh? That is a disturbing thought. Spike free again. Why would he still stay with me when he was free to kill again? He wouldn’t spend a second thought on me, drain me and go.

My erection gone, I only feel my bladder demanding urgent attention.

“Spike?” I whisper and he doesn’t answer me. So he is really still asleep, does not even know what he is doing. I climb out of his embrace with some difficulty, assuring a whimpering Spike that I don’t go farther away than to the bathroom.

 

Overview

A: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08
B: 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22
C: 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33
D: 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 |tbc...