05 - Not the nice kind

~ Spike ~

The ‘Twilight’ is hidden among all the abandoned warehouses. To keep it a secret was hard until KA needed help. To keep the slayer and the scoobies away was hard work too. Always have to have demons out to secure the district so nothing unusual happened around here which could get Slutty and co. interested. And now I bring one of her sidekicks along. Hey there Harris look, that’s my part of the night entertainment in Sunnyhell. Everybody welcome except the slayer. But why don’t you invite her to a housewarming party??

I dig through my duster pockets for my key, find it and unlock the backdoor.

I’m hardly through the door when two Klashe’ea demons grab me. They are big and look clumsy but are strong fighters and very determined.

“Howww coulddd youuu gettt innn, Vammmpirrre?” one of them snarls.

“I have a key, idiot.” I snarl right back, twist its arm and kick its buddy in the knee – or what goes for a knee, the one further down. The demons stumble and take a long look at me – ah, comprehension is dawning.

“Masssterrrr Spiiiike, exxxxcusssse meeee. Iii diddddn’tttt knowwww itttt wassss youuuu.” The demons bow to me and for a second I feel like my old self.

“Bring me Treckle.” I command and go to the office ignoring the demons babbling.

In the office I sit down in the chair behind the desk. It’s expensive black leather, soft and cool to my hands. My feet are propped on the desk, black shiny wood. I light a cigarette and sigh. Hell, I love to be in charge.

Minutes and half a cigarette later, Treckle comes in. He is a Mekta demon. He appears human, if you don’t mind piercing orange eyes and the long nearly glowing blue black hair. He can’t read a persons mind but he is aware if somebody is lying to him. Mekta demons are quiet and peaceful, they like to be in business and are mostly loyal.

He smiles charmingly at me, all pretty white teeth showing between his full lips. “Spike, baby, you’re back?” I can’t help it, I give him the once over and leer at him. The orange of his eyes intensifies and I let my eyes flash gold for a second. “Missed me?” I purr.

“Oh god, yes.” He answers and then his lean body moves to me and before I can do anything, I have this beautiful creature in my lap, his thighs on either side of me. His hands grab my shoulders, fingers kneading my skin through the duster. My own hands move of their own accord to his hips, holding him in place. Months since anyone wanted me, needed me, appreciated me. I moan when his fingers slide in my duster, under my shirt. I fasten the grip on his hips and buck up against him, pressing my hard-on against his. He leans forward, my eyes flicker to his greedy mouth where his blue tongue peeks out, wets his lips – and suddenly I know I can’t. In the last moment I turn my head to the side and his lips hit my cheek instead of my mouth. All movements come to a stop, his body weighs down heavily on me and he takes a few deep breaths. Then he starts to chuckle lightly and I have to join in. It is ludicrous.

He leans back, sitting comfortably on my lap, his hands are above my duster again and his gaze is curious.

“You don’t love me anymore?” He pouts playfully.

“I never loved you like that, you know.” I reply smiling.

He sighs exaggerating. “I know. So, why did you come back?” He stares at me, cocking his head to one side, narrowing his eyes. “You won’t take the club from me, will you?” He asks in a faked childlike voice, belying the fear underneath.

“I would never take that from you, Treck. But I’m here to stay. And I will bring someone with me.”

“It’s not Dru.” He states.

“It’s not Dru. It’s not like that. We’re not in love or anything; it’s… complicated.” I sigh and avert my eyes.

“Ah, I understand. Or not. Does it matter? Who is she or he or it?” He questions in business mode.

“Xander. Human.” I whisper.

“God, Spike!” He cries annoyed and leaps to his feet. “You know better then… aarrghh. Human?!?”

He squares his shoulders and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“I told you it’s complicated. But he is okay, perhaps a little black’n’white view of the world but otherwise…”

“Black and white view? You mean, he is full of prejudices against demons? How could you get hooked up with someone like that?”

“I didn’t get hooked up…”

“Did too.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did… Bollocks. Here is how it goes: I will be back with him tomorrow evening, I want my flat clean, we’re moving in, I need a job for the boy, bartending would be good, starting Friday night. You rule the club as before. Understand?” My voice is commanding but my eyes are pleading.

“Whatever you want, Spike-baby.” He winks at me and smiles. Thanks to … whoever. “But I want to meet him tomorrow night.”

“Can do. Alright, I’m off then.” I stand up and go to Treck, invading his personal space. My hand comes up to cup his jaw. “Keep your hands off of him, he’s mine.” His smile just gets brighter, his eyes are laughing at me.

“See you tomorrow, Spikey.” He whispers mere inches from my mouth, his warm breath ghosting over my lips. I close my eyes for a second and just enjoy the feeling of it. I have to tear myself away but not before I touch my lips to his for a fraction of a second. He just stays there, eyes still closed, when I stride away.

 

~ Xander ~

It’s nearly dawn and he isn’t back. I should have known it. Why would he help me? I can’t give him anything in return. And he is evil. I can’t believe I forget it so often. When I see a trace of humanity in him without him having a soul, I just can’t believe he is evil to the core. If a vampire without a soul shows understanding, comfort and selflessness and a human with a soul, a father, has nothing but punches and insults for you, you start to see the world in different ways. I can’t see it like the slayer’s “human good – demon bad” way anymore. I guess for her it’s necessary to do a good job. It doesn’t work for me. But I wish it would because I wouldn’t be this disappointed by now.

It’s always the same: out of the ground – into the sky – out of the sky – into the dirt…

In my mind I go through the stuff I packed for him. Is there anything he would come back for? The silver metal box perhaps. If he doesn’t come back I can break it open and find out what’s in it. See, just look positively on things and the disappointment fades away. Yeah, and what do you pretend tomorrow, Xander?

I hear a rumble at the door and am up on my feet and over there nearly as fast as a vampire. As fast as I ever have seen a vampire move, I think. It’s not that I exactly know, how fast a vampire can be. Tried to find it out some time ago but Giles’ books weren’t very detailed on facts like speed. It’s not like there are vampire olympics or such, is it?

The door opens and Spike sways in front of me. His lip is bleeding and a bruise taints his beautiful – nope, didn’t think that - face.

I cry out and feel like a girl. He gives me a half grin and falls forward. I catch him.

Whoa. Sexy –denial - vampire in my arms.

 

~ Spike ~

Well, that was a fight! Outnumbered one to six by strong, non slimy demons with minor fighting skills. They attacked me just a block away from Xander. I haven’t had this much fun in ages! They got a few nasty blows in but hey! No fun if the kick of maybe losing is missing. And Xander’s expression is delicious! He really cares about me. His eyes are horrified when he sees my injuries. They’re not serious, healed by morning. I just can’t resist, I let myself fall forward directly into his arms. Hm. Warm body pressed against mine, a heartbeat thumping against my chest. This is so good.

 

~ Xander ~

No, this is not fair! Why did he get in a fight? Seems like his debtors are not amused by Spike calling in favours. Who would be? I guess we’re not moving in some place Spike thought to get. Damn.

His face is pressed against my neck and he is mouthing the skin just over the pulse point. Stop that, Spike, getting a strange feeling in my belly here. Aarrgh. He is sucking now, his tongue is massaging my skin. Hm. Don’t stop. Hmm. There are teeth now, human blunt teeth, gently biting and… ungh. Biting – vampire – blood – reminds me of injuries! Have to get him blood. Fast. I hold him still in my arms when I walk him towards the bed. He is growling when I push him away carefully.

“Alright Spike, remember the chip, no biting for you now. I’ll bring you some blood in a nice cup so you can get better, okay?”

He groans and nods and reluctantly let’s me go. I hurry to the fridge and take a blood bag out, open it, fill a cup, heat it in the microwave. While I wait for the ‘ping’ a thought occurs to me. I take a shot glass and a knife out. I grit my teeth and cut into the base of my thumb. The blood drips out to fill the glass in no time. I lick over the cut a few times, slowing the bleeding down. The ‘ping’ sounds and I take the pigs blood over to Spike.

“Be a nice vamp and drink up!” I say when I hand him the cup. He takes it and turns away to drink it down quickly with a disgusted face. Again in human guise but with red tainted lips he hands me the cup back.

“Good boy, here is your pressie.” I say and hold the shot glass under his nose.
His eyes fly open and he has the glass standing on the table and me by my throat against the wall in less than a second.

Creepy vampire speed.

“What do you think you’re doing? Where did you cut yourself? You stupid git. Didn’t you lose enough blood last night?” He snarls in my shocked face. Overreacting much? Hello, yesterday wasn’t nearly as serious as… let’s not think about that. A shot glass of blood will not kill me but help him heal. I wanted to do something for him. He got himself beaten up because he was searching for a place to stay mainly for me. Just for him a nice crypt would do. And what do I get for my help? A pissed off vamp strangulating me.

“WHERE DID YOU CUT YOURSELF???” He demands to know again and I raise my hand.

Oh and back on my feet again and oohh.

Ohhh.

Spike’s licking my palm.

Ooohhh.

Such a naughty tongue.

Cool and pushy.

Hmm…

Lyrics: Nirvana

06 - Half-truth

~ Spike ~

I can’t believe he is that stupid! What the hell was he thinking? God, I provoked this with my severely-wounded-show. Cuts himself! Idiot. It’s hard enough to withstand him *without him bleeding all around me*. He tastes so good, so pure of life and hey, arousal.

Yep – score one for William the Bloody. I start sucking on the shallow wound as if it is the first blood I get in a hundred plus years. I feel like it is just that. I think I heard a moan. I bite my own tongue and mix a little of my blood in the spit. Don’t think he’ll notice.

He tries to pull his hand away but I pull it back for a last sealing lick, coating it with salvia.

I turn to get the shot glass still waiting for me

when I hear a sharp intake of breath.

Damn.

I am so fucking stupid!

~ Xander ~

Okay on my scale of ‘sexual pleasures Xander received’ that was full points. Either my sexual receivings are pretty little – which they are – or I really get off on the guy thing or the vamp thing or the blood thing or two of the above or all of the above together.

Or I need a new scale.

Damn. Where is denial when you need it?

I take a look on my palm and gasp when I see the cut slowly close, fading in a thin white line and then disappearing as if it was never there.

I turn my gaze to Spike.

He stands very still and tense in the middle of his way to the glass on the table.

“Spike?”

“Yes pet?”

“It’s not a lie.”

“What?”

“The vampire-spit-healing-thing.”

Beat.

“No, it’s not.”

I don’t know what to say. The only noise in the room is the cracking of the leather of Spike’s duster when he sits down and slowly sips my blood.

Something comes to my mind and makes an awkward feeling in my stomach.

“How much was I hurt?” I ask.

“Badly.”

“How bad?”

“Bad.” He shrugs.

“Bad as in can’t sleep on my back for a couple of days or bad as in hurry to the hospital you need a few stitches?”

Beat.

“A lot of stitches.”

I swallow hard. I have to sit down. Spike really licked my back because he didn’t want me in pain. The blood he received by doing it was more like a benefit of the deed and not the main reason. Altruistic Spike. A concept that blows my mind.

After a long silence I tell him hoarsely: “Thank you, Spike.”

He looks sharply at me, searching for mockery.

“You’re welcome.” He replies eventually.

Another few minutes go by in silence.

Uncomfortable silence.

To break it and to show Spike how much his nursing now means to me I stand up and go to him, help him out of his duster, his shoes and socks. One fingernail accidentally scrapes along the underside of his foot and his toes curl instantly. I smile evilly. Ticklish Spikey. Information saved for later. Now I just want to go to sleep.

~ Spike ~

Bloody hell! He didn’t get the blood part of my nursemaid-abilities. I don’t think he would thank me again if he knew it. Humans are squeamish with blood. I just wanted him to be okay. I really have a soft spot for the whelp.

Fuck.

He comes to me and shoves my duster from my shoulders. I like when he touches me, how he touches me. Just like he would touch another human. Undressing me so carefully and slowly. I hope some other time he’ll undress me ‘cause he wants me. Now he’s just tired and wants to get in bed.

He pulls my socks off and a fingernail scratches the skin under my foot.

Aaaarghh.

Self-control.

No giggling like a stupid bint.

Oh good, he hasn’t realised that I’m ticklish.

He tugs me under the covers and I want to crack a joke about how uncomfortable the old recliner is when he slips in the bed on the other side.

Oh.

Hm.

That’s nice.

I can nearly feel the heat of his body reflecting on mine.

~ Xander ~

If the blonde menace thought I would sleep in the painful parody of the reclining chair, he must have gotten pretty beaten up. Well, at first he was pretty beaten up, dramatically collapsing in my arms, near death-undeath-finaldeath whatever- wavering and losing control over… Hey, he kissed and sucked and play-bit my neck!

He must have gotten a really hard blow to his head. I am pretty sure *I* am not what a vamp would choose for a meal.

Fucking moist and delicious my ass.

I am just Xander.

Zeppo.

Doughnut boy.

Unworthy.

No good.

I squeeze my eyes shut against the tears threatening to fall.

I try to concentrate on the good things:

Spike came back.

And, ahm, Spike. Came. Back.

~ Spike ~

I was drifting into sleep smoothly when the harsh scent of misery and tears pulls me back to full consciousness.

I am bleedin’ tired and I don’t care.

I don’t care.

Bloody hell.

Putting my head up on my hand, I position my battered body on the side and look expectantly at the whelp.

He is lying rigid on his back, eyes screwed shut, jaw clenched. Almost bawling.

Well then.

“Wot’se matter?” I ask with *almost* no annoyance in my voice. I am tired, okay?!

“Nothing.” A hoarse whisper.

Fine.

“Go t’sleep.”

No answer.

So I roll over on my other side and close my eyes, grateful for the comfort of an almost real bed.

Then: “What now, Spike?”

“Now sleep.” I grumble.

“No I mean…”

“Know wot ya mean, tomorrow, ‘k?”

“’k.”

Eyes closed again and content with how I handled the situation, I feel my limbs getting heavy. Sleep is rushing to me unstoppably until:

“What is tomorrow?” He is really trying my patience.

“Tomorrow – move and new-boss-meeting.”

“WHAT?!” He screams, bounces up and the bed shakes under his strenuous moves. I groan. Have mercy please.

And when you break this bed – I *will* kill you. Chip or no chip.

~ Xander ~

“What is tomorrow?” I ask hesitantly. Will he tell me tomorrow that he will not be burdened down by me?

“Tomorrow – move and new-boss-meeting.”

What? I roll the words around in my head until they make no sense at all.

Did he really say I’ll meet my new boss? Do I have a new job?

“WHAT?” I scream, not able to hold back the enthusiasm I feel. He groans. I have to be more careful – one day I’ll blast his sensible hearing with my loud outbursts.

Nevertheless: “YOU GOT ME A JOB? AND AN APARTMENT?”

Spike’s face scrunches up into a deep frown, then: “No.”

My anticipation is brutally torn out of me. My body slumps into a boneless heap and I feel tears threatening my eyes. I look down ashamed, not wanting him to witness my soul-deep disappointment erupting in a girly whine.

~ Spike ~

Un-fucking-believably unsure, so easy to be broken git!

~ Xander ~

Cool slim fingers grab my wobbling chin and force me to meet *amused* - oh, he must so get his kicks out of this – blue eyes.

“I found a job for you *and* for me. And an Apartment for *us*, you idiot!” He scolds me playfully. I could so cut that smirk out of his face right now. I try not to look deeper into his smiling eyes but I can’t withstand it and what I find in there – concern, caring – makes my vision bleary again. Why isn’t he pitying me? He isn’t supposed to care. Or to be concerned. No one is. I don’t deserve to be…

~ Spike ~

I see the cogs turning in his head, when he analyses the motivations I let show in my eyes. I know, I have to do this slowly. Have to show him babystep by babystep that he has some worth for the world, for me. He is like a kicked puppy, always waiting for the next slap.

However, pity is the last thing he needs now, so: “Stop that – now! Don’t beat yourself up. I don’t want to see *that* look in your beautiful eyes EVER again!”

~ Xander ~

Did he say beautiful?

~ Spike ~

I did not say beautiful, did I? Fuck.

He looks at me as if I really said beautiful…

~ Xander ~

He said my eyes were beautiful!

Why did he say, they were beautiful?

Just plain brown eyes.

Nothing special.

No.

Not me.

Never me.

~ Spike ~

Need to cover that slip. Need to pretend it was intended…

“AND NOW, close those *beautiful chocolate mirrors to your soul* and go TO SLEEP!” I order and wink at him before demonstratively turning my back on him and pretending to sleep. Cover with overstatement, that got him.

~ Xander ~

Oh, he just pulled my leg, wanted to distract me. Alright. Sleeping now. Job and apartment tomorrow. Need more information. Spike will tell me tomorrow. Sleep now. Nice.

“Night, Spike. Thanks.” I whisper. Only a shift on the other side of the bed answers me. Alright. Tomorrow. Spike. More. ‘yaaaaaawwwn’

~ Spike ~

I move to lie on my back. Night, my beautiful boy.

07 - Awakenings

~ Xander ~

I wake up midday to the sound of my parents fighting. I try to block it out as usual.

The events of the past two days come crashing back and suddenly I think it was just one of my daydreams again. The complete “Princess in danger gets saved last minute by knight in shining armour” theme. God, when did I get *this* pathetic?

Why would anybody come to save *me*? It’s not like I could offer something … save-worthy, can I?

I wrestle with myself whether I should open my eyes. If I open them I am confronted with the reality. It could be that Spike lies only a foot away from me, sleeping peacefully and waking when the sun sets to get us both out of here to the new place and the new jobs. Or it could be that Spike is not here at all or tied to the chair and Dad never got me, so Spike never pitied me…

Fucking coward! Face it!

My eyes open very, very, very slowly and my gaze fixes on high cheekbones of a

– the most –

beautiful face.

Spike.

In my bed.

Less than three inches away from me.

Whoa.

I want to shut my eyes again but my gaze is captured by the long dark lashes. He has really long lashes. I begin to study his handsome features, I am drawn to the full lower lip but why should I stare at his mouth? Pink pouty lower lip, hmmm. I shouldn’t watch his lips, I should, well, there! A manly scar! Men show other men scars. Totally okay to look at scars. So I let myself look.

My fingers begin to twitch when I admit to myself that I want to know, if the skin feels different there. Different from the skin of his cheeks or his lips…

I wonder if the scar is still there if he goes all grrr…

WHOA! Can he read my mind?

 

~ Spike ~

The fight of the whelp’s parents woke me nearly fifteen minutes before the boy began to stir in his sleep. Supernatural hearing can be a curse!

I studied the innocent face until I had memorized every line, every curve. The last minutes I have just been lying here and enjoyed his warm breath ghosting over my skin, increasing the sensation ten-fold by closing my eyes and only concentrating on the soothing in – out – in – out – in…

I feel him opening his eyes and wait for him to scramble away.

He doesn’t.

He has to think I am asleep and takes the chance to study my sexy face.

Don’t grin. Don’t grin. Don’t grin.

Have to grin, have to grin or… real face to the fore.

What do you do now, Harris?

Face to face with a demon.

 

~ Xander ~

Game face.

I wonder if it is his true face.

And the scar is still there. Larger and looking even more rough than before.

These vampire bumps and ridges are really impressive.

Intimidating.

I listen to my body for any sign of fear or disgust but nope. No fear. No disgust.

It’s just Spike.

Women put make up on and he has this. Not a good comparison. This is far beyond the possibilities of make up.

Are the ridges like… shock absorbers for protection or built-in bone for using them weapon-like for headbangs? Are they sensitive or numb? Even if Spike would tell me, do I have the nerve to ask? Would Spike let me touch them? Is the skin now taut over the bumps still smooth or more like leather, rough and dry?

Unstoppably my gaze is back to his lips. They’re slightly parted and the white tip of one fang is barely visible. I repress the urge to spread his lips with my fingers to explore more of the deadly fascinating teeth.

Tracing the single hard lines with my eyes and regrettably not with my fingers or my tongue – in an absolutely Watcher-like interest – I get sleepy again.

 

~ Spike ~

My boy is surprising me again.

No scrambling away, not even the slightest hitch in the heartbeat. No fear.

I would be impressed by his courage if I had NO FUCKING CHIP IN MY HEAD!

Fangless.

William the Bloody Tame Vampire.

What a joke.

I wish I could risk opening my eyes to see the expression in his chocolate orbs. Would I find trust or disgust? Pity most likely.

His heartbeat and breathing slows down again.

The boy has balls, just going back to sleep mere inches from a monster when your instincts should scream at you to run away as fast as you can.

Maybe, living with a monster for a father for your whole life does that to you.

And here we are again. Full circle. Fucking chip in my head means no revenge for my boy by my own hands or fangs. And he so deserves it. I’ll figure something out. Angelus would run screaming if he were the aim of my revenge. The whelp’s creator will go down so hard…

In – out –
warm breath flooding my skin
– in – out –
warmth seeping in my skin
– in – out –
wonder if the whelp would mind me getting a little closer?
– in – out –
I would wake before him anyway and he would never find out…
- in – out –
god, he is so hot…

 

~ Xander ~

I wake up when something persistently tickles my nose.

Opening my eyes without hesitation now that I know Spike will be there and the whole thing wasn’t some figment of my mind I look into a sea of white blond waves.

Huh?

I inhale the scent of cigarettes, leather and a decent hair gel deeply.

Spike scent. Save scent.

Slowly I start to recon the location of my body parts.

The weight on my shoulder is Spike’s head which is tugged under my chin.

The weight on my waist is Spike’s arm, holding me firmly.

My arms are wrapped protectively around Spike’s shoulders.

One of his legs is between mine,

my foot is sticking behind his calf

stopping the leg from slipping away.

Full body tangle.

Whoa.

Cuddling with Spike.

My heart starts pounding in my chest but I don’t move.

This is good and frightening and safe and threatening and…

 

~ Spike ~

Anyway I would wake before the whelp my ass!

He is having a frigging heart failure!

I have to move before he loses it completely and starts screaming like a girl.

 

~ Xander ~

Spike begins to move and I feel the hard ridges smoothing out against my neck.

He must have been very deeply asleep to forget it’s me, he shares the bed with.

His hand slides from the small of my back up over my shoulder down along my arm to my wrist.

*Goosebumps all over my body*

Gently he lifts my arm up and lays it on my side so he can scoot away from me.

White blonde curls caress my chin while he pulls back.

Blue eyes open and meet mine.

Sleepy baby blue eyes.

Cute.

Cute?

Definitely cute.

He smiles a tiny bit and I reciprocate shyly.

 

~ Spike ~

When I look into his eyes I have to suppress a gasp.

His eyes sparkle like whiskey lightened by the setting sun.

Sensual.

Warm.

Caressing you to the core.

It fills me with indescribable joy to see him like this again.

Carefree.

Hopeful.

Xander pure.

The Big Bad doesn’t do goofy grins so I gift him with a tiny but true smile.

And he smiles back, gazing at me shyly through lowered lids.

No – the longing whimper is hidden with a casual: “Sorry ‘bout that, mate. Was cold.”

Who am I kidding?

I am *burning* inside.

 

~ Xander ~

Huh? Thought, vampires couldn’t get cold.

“Alright.” I whisper and turn to lie on my back.

And I am able to breathe again.

That’s an advantage.

Spike does the same.

Together we stare at the seedy ceiling.

He is still lying on my arm. I don’t mind.

“It’s 4 p.m.” I state for the lack of something better to say.

“Sun’s down in three ‘ours – then we’re outta ‘ere.”

“Yeah.” Goodbye seedy ceiling.

“You want to go with me?”

I’m not as stupid as everybody thinks. I get this question.

He is asking if I *want* to go with him.

Do I? Want to go with Spike? Move in with him? Have a job he chose for me?

I have five hundred dollars in my bank account. I could find a place on my own.

I could ask Willow or Giles to take me in. I could do it on my own I realize suddenly.

My savings would give me some time to find a new job. With a job I can hold my own.

Do I really want to go with *Spike* of all people?

 

~ Spike ~

I am losing him.

Loneliness is slamming into me,

shattering my insides

and grinding my heart into thousands of pieces of broken glass.

I have to close my eyes to keep in the tears.

 

Come on tell me

Make this all go away

You make this all go away

I'm down to just one thing

And I'm starting to scare myself

Make this all go away

You make this all go way

I just want something

I just want something I can never have

I just want something I can never have

Think I know what you meant

That night on my bed…

 

(Nine Inch Nails – Something I can never have- STILL 2002)

 

08 - Getting Away

~ Xander ~

Spike has gone really still. I appreciate it. He gives me time to decide things for myself without his interference. He is the first person in my life that actually thinks I am able to make important decisions by myself.

When I go with him I won’t be alone and I wouldn’t be without kinda guidance. Nevertheless I would still be able to make my own decisions.

„I want to come with you.”

 

~ Spike ~

So wot? Git won’t come with me. His loss.

Don’t give a flying fuck.

Me, I don’t need him! Wot for?

Bawling like a bint all the time:

‘Spike I can’t do this, Spike that is a demon, Spike demons don’t love…’

No, thanks but no thanks.

I’m outta here.

“I want to go with you.”

‘Bout time! Wasn’t waiting another minute for you, whelp.

“If you come with me…” If I take you with me after you needed this long to make this decision…

“When I come with you…” Getting cocky aren’t we?

“If… when you come with me, I show you *my* world. There is no backing out in the near future. You have to forget some of your prejudices and morals to live with me, to fit in.” Can’t save your tight arse all the time.

“You’re talking about killing, maiming and stealing?” Stereotype much?

“No Harris. I talk about friends, no matter what they look like and about secrets humans are not allowed to know. I talk about trust and an open mind.”

“I *want* to come with you.”

“Right then.”

 

~ Xander ~

Spike is up and in the shower before I can ask him more about where we’re going or what job I will have to do.

I stand up and strip off the sheets, not wanting to do anything that might get my father angry at my mother if he would come down to the basement, examining it after I leave.

When I come out of my shower, Spike is not, as I expected, waiting for me in the kitchen, mug of blood in his hands. Panic grips me and my guts clench tightly, making breathing something that needs concentration to do it.

I stumble to the fridge to have something to hold on to and to not give into the urge to slide to the floor. A note is scribbled on the backside of the lid of one of my frozen menus. Eww. How long has this been lying here?

== Don’t get your knickers in a twist. ==

Oh. Victorian Handwriting between old tomato stains and sticky cheese, slightly untidy because of the effort of the writer – Spike! – not to touch the surface he was writing on.

He’ll be back. Sigh. Panic subsiding. Breathing calmly again. Not abandoned. Not alone.

 

~ Spike ~

I am again walking through the sewers and it doesn’t improve my mood. Am a little wired ‘cause Harris agreed to come with me but at the same time angry that I am happy ‘bout that. Won’t do me good to get involved with some human. Sire always said involvement with the food will get a vampire dusty faster than a slayer. Shouldn’t have done this at all. But when he looks at me with his puppy dog, please-kick-me eyes I just can’t withstand him.

No probs if I hadn’t the chip. I would have just marked him as mine, Pet, Property of Spike. No one would bloody care if I had a fucking human or a thousand for my amusement. But! I can’t mark him because of the fucking chip. And did I say already I hate this thing in my head and the fuckers who put it there?

So at last near my crypt, getting my baby.

Have to do one or two things before I go back to the whelp.

Hope, he found my note.

Wouldn’t do him good to… aaarghh.

I am doing it again.

 

~ Xander ~

I am pacing around the limited space of this fucking basement I finally leave today. I just wish Spike would hurry. Could be that Dad checks the basement any moment now to see if I am gone.

I hear the roaring of a tormented engine, the screeching of tires on concrete and my heart jumps into a punishing rhythm, setting my body in motion before my brain can catch up. Grabbing three duffel bags I run outside and cannot, and don’t want to, suppress the big shit-eating grin that seems to swallow my ears.

In my eyes the Desoto is shiny, sleek and the vampire leaning with his back against the driver’s door, casually smoking a cigarette, satisfied smirk in place is just the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.

I am thrown back in time for a second: Angel’s hard grip preventing me from running away when he offers me to “the Spike”. Proud Master Vampire, killed two slayers, known as William the Bloody, part of the Scourge of Europe,…

but not one book said that he was this gorgeous.

 

~ Spike ~

Down in second gear, accelerating until the engine protests, clutch pedal, handbrake, turning the steering wheel with only one hand to the right until it won’t go any further, the lady is drifting screaming to a standstill in the opposite direction to which I came from, totally unaffected out of the car, short glimpse at the black rubber traces on the street, casual pose: back to driver’s door, fag – cool.

Basement door flings open; whelp is stumbling out, heart pounding a mile a minute, duffel bags in his hands, he comes running. I look in his face and – oh fuck –

I think the sun’s just gone up and I didn’t realize it.

What a bright smile!

And just because I came back.

He totally trusts me with everything. He doesn’t even know, what job, what apartment I might have found for us.

He is sexy like that, eyes and mouth grinning, shining with pure joy. Bet I could put this look on his face more often if…

“Need a *ride*, whelp?” Casual shift of my hips. Getting his attention to my crotch where my cock lays semi-hard waiting for his answer.

 

~ Xander ~

God yeah. My cock twitches to life in my pants when I see the slight thrust he makes.

Shaking my head to clear it of all the images that flood me, when Spike *thrusts* his slender hips like that, I shove the duffel bags to him, destroying the cool scenery he created.

“I’ll get the others.” Running back and taking them I throw my keys on the bed and leave the basement of doom forever.

Less than half a minute later I sit in the passenger seat, the bags are all in the trunk, and look expectantly at Spike.

Who looks expectantly back.

What does he want?

A wild thought rushes into my head: I am the damsel in distress and he wants me to kiss him as a reward.

Gah!

Well, …

 

~ Spike ~

Just wanted to ask the whelp if he is ready to go when he zoned out.

Got this creepy look on his face now.

And is coming closer, I cock my head to the side, raising an eyebrow. 

If he leans forward like this a little more, he’ll fall with his face in my lap.

“You alright Harris?” I ask him, mere inches away from really keeling over.

“Yeah.” He whispers.

“Right then.” I say, turn to the street and start the engine. With a dark howling my lady surges forward, whelp is thrown back into his seat by the acceleration – keeling over prevented – and we are on the way to the ‘Twilight’, the radio throbbing:

 

When you are with me

I'm free...I'm careless...I believe

Above all the others we'll fly

This brings tears to my eyes

My Sacrifice

We've seen our share of up's and down's

Oh, how quickly life can turn around ... in an instant

It feels so good to reunite within yourself and within your mind

Let's find peace there

When you are with me

I'm free...I'm careless...I believe

Above all the others we'll fly

 

(Creed – My sacrifice)

 

Overview

A: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08
B: 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22
C: 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33
D: 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 |tbc...